On the 6th of April, my fellow students and I organised and held a conference. I delivered a Pecha Kucha presentation on Gender and Agency in Geoffrey Chaucer’s Troilus and Criseyde, which is relevant to my dissertation and will be discussed in my upcoming literature review! I was on a panel titled Woman Scorned: Gender and Expectations with Charlotte and Ellie, who delivered fascinating presentations. It was the first time that I’ve ever participated in one, but that’s the purpose of it being on the course, isn’t it? I believe most of us English students have not had the opportunity to participate in a conference at this point in our academic lives, so it served as great practice and preparation for future (hopefully!) conferences.
Public speaking elicits a terrible anxiety from me. Having anxiety in general does not facilitate in overcoming this fear. In mentioning this, the hand-wringing that I did for weeks in the lead-up to the event in which I envisioned being the first person in the history of the programme to be frozen and unable to speak for the entire presentation was only that. A fear of a hypothetical disaster that was not realised. I feel that it is important to mention this sort of irrational, catastrophising anxiety because it is such a common experience. Despite the borderline panic I felt before and during the delivery of my presentation – it still went as smoothly as I could have hoped, even with my throat practically closed up by the end. I most likely tackled answering the questions better than the presentation proper: it’s the nerves from standing on that podium, I’d wager. Having the English department and my classmates to support each other created a comfortable environment, too: one where we were all interested in and attentive to each other’s research as well. The reassuring smiles by Dr. Etienne helped to calm the nerves, too.
I believe that there are strengths to be found within the Pecha Kucha format: the nature of the 20 second slides, while challenging, forced me to adapt in a way that I found to be beneficial. It enabled me to continue speaking even as I felt too nervous to speak. There is always a point where there will be something to say and somewhere to begin again when speech staggers to a halt. It has given me the confidence boost and skills (pressure makes diamonds, I guess!) that has made academic conferences a less daunting and impossible endeavour, under a relatively short amount of time.